When I Ride…

Day 4: Forgiveness is for me, not them…

An insecure little girl, acting confident and bold but scared to death that everyone knew she wasn’t worthy of their friendship.

That was me in high school. 

As a result, I did a lot of stupid stuff to be liked, to fit in. There were people out there who recognized an opportunity to get what they wanted from me and used me and my insecurities to feel more powerful.

As I grew and realized I was just being used, I began to not trust my choices. I allowed others to make my choices for me and followed people like a lemming blindly following it’s buddies over the side of a cliff.

Yeah, I finally came into my own, was empowered by this and that experience and am a little more like a leader than a follower now. However, when posed with the question, who do you still need to forgive? This old resentment is what came up for me. The adults and fellow classmates that used me when I was the most vulnerable.

I regularly do a gut check to take care of old resentments like this. I was surprised it was still there. After all, to hold onto resentment is to give them the power that you should be recognizing in yourself.

 

So, I forgive all of you people from my past who coerced me into stupid and dangerous situations just to make yourself feel good. Not saying what you did was okay, just that I forgive you. This forgiveness is for me, not you. I’m a lot stronger, smarter and wiser now…hope you are as well.

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This entry was published on July 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm. It’s filed under childhood, relationships and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “Day 4: Forgiveness is for me, not them…

  1. I am glad you came to grips with yourself and now you are a better person. People can be rude. You earn the right to smile, because now you are truly better than they are.

  2. Pingback: I Can Forgive Him | We're Jumpin

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