I’m not that old but as time marches on, it is becoming all too clear. Our collective lesson is to let go. Let go, we hear it all the time. Let go and let God.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”
“There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise
live rent-free in your head.”
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment
is the only one you know you have for sure.”
“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
This has become most evident as I sit here and laugh to myself when I think I was put on this earth to be a parent and to guide my son. When he was little, I may have kept him out of the street or out from under horse’s hooves. But he showed me what he was going to be and if I was unobtrusive, I was allowed to watch. I would try to jump in there and give him a little advice now and then. Trying to stay out-of-the-way but still be there. Listening patiently most of the time, he would then take what he needed and move forward in his own way, his own path, his own plan.
Who was I kidding? He knew all along what to do. We all have our own answers. It’s just getting quite enough to sit and listen.
I thought I was brought here to guide him but now I know he was sent with the clarity to guide me.
Being a parent is a breeze if we think our only job is to keep them alive until they are 18. I can do that with a puppy.
The growing part comes when you have to start letting go. Letting go of the outcome of his life. Slowly, step by step, I am still backing away. I watch him leave and come back, then leave and come back. It will get easier the more it happens, each time I let go, the grip will loosen more quickly. The tightness in my chest will be softer, the emotions, less obvious. He has been and will continue to be one of my greatest teachers. I let go of his hand when he learned to walk, I let go of his bike when he learned to ride, I let go of the wheel when he learned to drive, I let go of his hand when he left for boot camp and I’m letting go once again.
He will go where he is supposed to go and that has nothing to do with me. But if I stay out-of-the-way, I will get to watch.