As the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays inch closer and closer, their jaws wide, saliva dripping from their fangs, a low rumbling growl, barely perceptible, coming from a belly empty and ravenous, intending to consume everything and everyone’s feelings insight…
Yes. That’s what the holidays mean to me.
Expectations, expectations, from everyone but most destructive, the ones I so willingly put on myself.
As I ride with clients and friends, I hear them all hint at the anxiety they “know” comes along with this time of year. For many of us, it’s just the way it is. A month of dreading and “hard” work, busy, busy, busy. In the past, I have actually left town so I wouldn’t have to participate. Didn’t want to inflict it on myself or other people.
The dread comes from the fear of disappointing others. Trying to recreate the amazing and spectacular Christmas and Thanksgiving we had as kids or maybe just wanting to create the day they wish had happened.
One of my favorite activities was making gingerbread men for my Uncle Dan, my grandfather’s brother who lived alone up in New Mexico. Decorating them, packing them carefully so they hopefully made it through the mail to him in one piece. Decorating the house wasn’t so fun…it was making things for others that appealed to me.
I decided this year, to shift my perception from expectation to curiosity. I’ll be damned if my fear of not being able to buy the right present…is going to murder what is the last remnant of the childhood joy I get from the holidays!
I’m shifting from expectations to curiosity. I’m curious about how to make the day interesting and light. Curious about how other’s will show up with their intentions and how to help take the pressure off. Curious about stories they have, how to spend as little time decorating and how to spend the most time present and engaged. Curious about how to make crispy chocolate bark with assorted toppings I saw in Oprah’s magazine. It’s a do it yourself gift and that’s the best kind. NO SHOPPING! Except of course to go to the grocery store, pushing my way through the sick and sneezing holiday throng of people forcing their carts through the ridiculously narrow aisles of the over stuffed store that probably has a Salvation Army Santa’s helper at every entrance…
Oh, bah! Humbug! At least I’m trying…
8 thoughts on “Shifting Expectation to Curiousity…”
After years of the smaller, quiet Thanksgiving celebration, we’re trying the bigger family get together.
I bet it will be great, so that is awesome! Ours went from huge to small. I think I’ve grown to like the large one so I can sit against the wall and watch without being observed… have a great holiday.
I love the meaning of thanksgiving, and am definitely thankful. I kinda despise the holiday as I grew up with it. I love your “curiosity” approach, and will definitely borrow it, thank you!. Will report back, hope you do also!
I will, thanks for the encouragement and good luck this year!
You go girl! 🙂
Thanks, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way
I’ve pared way back … b/c I’m the cook and the “maker” of the holiday in my family .. I’ve given myself a gift — a gift of a more manageable menu, an extra day off on EITHER side of the Holiday (whoop!) and the wisdom not to fill every stinking minute with a “to do.”
::: ahhh :::
So wise, I was actually waiting to see what your take on the holidays was all about…and it’s Grace.