Journals

Do you journal? As I was looking through a few, I found old photos, notes on fights, dreams and desires, of course that’s what we put in there. But every once in a while I read something and I ask myself? Did I write that? That’s really good that doesn’t sound like me. I’m not going to go into the psychology of that statement but anyway, I love my journals. I’ve been keeping them since…? Maybe eighth grade. That was when I left home for boarding school and began to want to write about frustrations, anxiety and all those other things that come up during teenage life.

I am blessed to have a granddaughter that I have been writing to since the day she was born. I began a journal because she lives in California and I wasn’t sure how much I was going to get to see her. But I knew when she turned 16 or something, I would give her the journal and let her know I’ve had been thinking about her the whole time. Thankfully I do get to see her. But I am still journaling to her.

One of the things that dominates the journals are lists. I find it funny how many lists I make for myself. Why so many lists? Am I afraid I’m going to forget to do something or leave something behind? I believe they are a security blanket as I leave home. I love to travel but seriously, I am such a homebody that even though the excitement of travel draws me, the anxiety about leaving home pervades. I get a homesick feeling before I even leave. When I was married, I was married to a really strong dependable guy who always held down the fort and could take care of anything that might arise while I was gone. Now when I leave I turn around and make a circle of the tiny home making sure nothing is hanging out or dripping or spewing. Chickens tucked in, horses on grass…

Excerpt… May 16 – loving my new journal of camel skin Melissa brought me from Thailand, no, India lots of laughing and silliness last night when we all got together.

ha ha, here is a dream…I think this is a couple of years ago September 10 – great dream last night. I was swimming through deepwater with a lot of others. Towards a barge lit with festive lights carrying all the teachers from Highland Park Elementary. Mrs. Williams was there and Mrs. Elison. They both looked amazing and were so happy to see me.

I think one of the great things about journaling is you can read how upset you were and know that you got through it so that the next time you’re that upset you can start laughing. Do you journal?