Shifting. Sounds so much more graceful and easy than “changing”. Life shifts…I have experienced more than a few this week. We all have them. Rocking along, thinking the status quo is working for now…and then wham! Your sister calls and our mother is on the way to the hospital.
My first thought is self preserving. I go to the least stressful conclusion which is, oh…she is probably just having a panic attack. Life has been pretty stressful for her the past year. It has finally culminated into a panic attack. I went to that thought because it was the one I could handle at that moment. I was packing and preparing to leave for a week-long horse trip and the pressure of that was enough.
The next phone call was, it’s serious. (Rupture of thoracic aortic aneurysm)
Dropping everything, I drove into the city to find my mom holding it together and giving my sister all of the, “if I don’t make it, the password for this and that bank account is…”
Time stopped for a second. My mind went hurdling back to a day in 1980 when I was having the last talk with my dad before he passed over. Zooming back to the present moment, I looked at my mom and our life together passed before my eyes. All of the snide remarks, the frustration with her over petty things, the wishing she wasn’t so noisy in the mornings, her animated attempts at story telling that were so embarrassing as a child…
Now all I could see was her angelic face, trying to be strong as the surgeon told us she was going in for emergency surgery, her heart was bleeding out and there wasn’t much time.
As she was wheeled out of the room, my first thought was to sit on the floor in a crumpled heap and sob, but a peace came to me, it filled me up and I bid farewell to the family standing with me and drove to the ranch. The surgery would take at least seven hours. Time better spent with my horse…and I went riding.
Fast forward……..she survived. Four days later, she is standing up, eating and although will be in the hospital for a while, is the same mom on the outside but I can tell she has shifted as well. How much and in what way, I will find out as the days progress but she is glowing with a newfound knowledge and I look forward to reaping the fruit of her new wisdom. Hug a loved one today…you just never know when will be your last chance. Peace.