When I Ride…

What a shifty week I’ve had…

Shifting. Sounds so much more graceful and easy than “changing”. Life shifts…I have experienced more than a few this week. We all have them. Rocking along, thinking the status quo is working for now…and then wham! Your sister calls and our mother is on the way to the hospital.

Mom with me on a trip to Kenya

Mom with me on a trip to Kenya

My first thought is self preserving. I go to the least stressful conclusion which is, oh…she is probably just having a panic attack. Life has been pretty stressful for her the past year. It has finally culminated into a panic attack. I went to that thought because it was the one I could handle at that moment. I was packing and preparing to leave for a week-long horse trip and the pressure of that was enough.

The next phone call was, it’s serious. (Rupture of thoracic aortic aneurysm)

Dropping everything, I drove into the city to find my mom holding it together and giving my sister all of the, “if I don’t make it, the password for this and that bank account is…”

Time stopped for a second. My mind went hurdling back to a day in 1980 when I was having the last talk with my dad before he passed over. Zooming back to the present moment, I looked at my mom and our life together passed before my eyes. All of the snide remarks, the frustration with her over petty things, the wishing she wasn’t so noisy in the mornings, her animated attempts at story telling that were so embarrassing as a child…

Now all I could see was her angelic face, trying to be strong as the surgeon told us she was going in for emergency surgery, her heart was bleeding out and there wasn’t much time.

As she was wheeled out of the room, my first thought was to sit on the floor in a crumpled heap and sob, but a peace came to me, it filled me up and I bid farewell to the family standing with me and drove to the ranch. The surgery would take at least seven hours. Time better spent with my horse…and I went riding.

Fast forward……..she survived. Four days later, she is standing up, eating and although will be in the hospital for a while, is the same mom on the outside but I can tell she has shifted as well. How much and in what way, I will find out as the days progress but she is glowing with a newfound knowledge and I look forward to reaping the fruit of her new wisdom. Hug a loved one today…you just never know when will be your last chance. Peace.

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This entry was published on June 15, 2013 at 2:59 pm. It’s filed under family and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

14 thoughts on “What a shifty week I’ve had…

  1. Thanks for the words of wisdom from your recent life experience. I’m so THANKful your mother survived. I have prayed for her just now, for full restoration to good health and many more joy-filled years ahead for you to share together. =)

  2. I’m so happy your mom is OK. Mothers are magical and necessary, no matter how old you become. I’ll definitely be hugging my loved ones today.

  3. Oh boy, that is tough stuff. You did the right thing stepping away and heading to the ranch. I hope you will keep us updated on how things come along for her .. and for you!
    MJ

  4. That is very scary and very hard. My Dad was in and out of the hospital several times the last years and each time was bad enough for the doctor to tell us to be prepared…thankfully Dad did ok and came home again…our parents will live forever we tell ourselves and then when they too are human and get sick it is very scary. My thoughts and prayers are with you and with your Mom. Hugs….

  5. Dear Lisa…you are a wonderful daughter and I know your Mom knows how much you love her:) I wish Dad was still with me, he is in spirit now as he passed away in 1997. Like you it took me by surprise and I felt so very scared and unsure of how to accept that I may loose him. It was hard for Mom too…somehow we together took care of him and we kept him here at home for a few more good years…we both were with him when God took his hand…and then that same week of loosing Dad I found out Mom was not well either. She lived a year longer than Dad…it was extremely hard for me to accept and face as parents live forever. I was glad that WB and I were able to keep Mom here at home too and while she was very independent, the last months she lived with us…thank the Lord for hospice and that I was able to have a nurse on call for questions….again both WB and I were with Mom as Dad and God took her hand and she slipped into heaven. I feel your pain and also that helpless feeling that we daughters feel but you are doing so good…just keep focused and I know your Mom would want you to ride your horse and to seek time to rest and process….take care of you too ok:) And I am giving yo a(((( big hug)))) I am with you in heart and spirit too:)

    • Wow! My girl, you have gone through it. The key word here is “through” Amazing where support comes from isn’t it? Thank you for sharing your story. Very sweet and real. Hug back.

  6. God puts us in the road tests. Much strength for these recovery days your mother, the love she receives will be the best help. I join in prayer.

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